We're down in Surfside (just north of Miami Beach) visiting Craig's parents for a few days. I got a chance to go walking this morning by myself. My in-laws live a half-mile from the beach, so it was a no-brainer! I walked to the beach, then a mile on the sand itself, then back to the house. Blue skies, gentle breeze, rotting fish smell... There were thousands of dead jellyfish washed up on shore, so it was a little aromatic in the beginning, but I quickly got used to it. I love hearing the waves breaking on shore and the water was such a vivid teal! Plus sand walking is tough and uses different muscles. I got almost a 2 mile walk today, better than yesterday which was a travel day. The only walking was through Ikea on the way down...
I definitely need new sneaks. Forget last week and the stair walking. I've encountered no stairs in the past couple of days, and a couple of minutes into the walk, my calves started hurting again. I really am going to buy new shoes soon!
And I'm going to end on a rant. Part of me hates coming down to Miami. I am voluptuous, Reubenesque, pleasingly plump, whatever. And I feel so damned self-concious down here. I know it sounds terribly self-centered, but I imagine every passerby laughing at how fat I am. Ugh. I'm almost 39. When will I stop being held hostage by my terrible body image? I don't want to be 70 and still worried that I look fat. I'm glad I don't have any daughters, because how can i teach body love and acceptance when I don't have it for myself? Part of the reason I want to do this triathlon is to lose weight so I can fit into a cute clothes and not feel fat. I wish I could just love my body. I'm very lucky and happy to be married to a wonderful man who loves me and my body. Why can't I do the same?
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Hi Ruthie, I struggle with the exact same issues. I don't have any answers for you, just wanted to let you know that your are so not alone in this!
ReplyDeletehugs,
Zoe
Thanks, Zoe. It's so frustrating to feel this way! I guess I just have to let it go. Easier said than done.
ReplyDeleteHi Ruth! I'm catching up on all your posts, so I have to add as well that you're not alone! I feel the same way about my body. For me, it's just really hard to get motivated to exercise since I miss ballet so much (tight budget, so no classes for me). But I'm going to set a goal for myself and try to stick to it gosh darn it! Your posts are very inspiring! :)
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